Who wants their neck abraded by some stinky wolfskin hat? And who wants to be the butt of a joke? Schabernack, literally “scrap(er)neck,” means “prank,” or maybe better “humbug” in its obsolete meaning of “hoax” that’s maybe as old as Schabernack. ¹

The obsolete masculine noun is used with or without an article: “Ihr treibt doch fiesen Schabernack mit mir.” It traces back to the Middle Ages in Germany, when a “schabernac” was a “coarse, neck-chafing winter hat.” I picture a raw-edged animal pelt worn by commoners—perhaps a wolf hide, since wolves were widely hunted (and, interestingly, smell odious, then and now)—although information is hard to come by here. The word also meant “mockery” at this early stage. ²

Another etymological source traces the word’s roots back to the Gothic skaban—or scheren, to shear—and the old punishment of shearing the hair off the back of the head (I assume so scofflaws could be recognized, but it’s also a haircut bad enough it takes on the humiliating flavor of a prank). ³

Since then, the meanings of “a warm but irritating hat,” a “criminal recognizable by his bad haircut,” and “mockery” underwent some linguistic alchemy to mean, roughly, a more-or-less warmly intended, irritating trick played on someone. And a new style of Covid-do, the short-long “humbuzz,” might just take off.

I’m reminded here of my northern-German ex-boyfriend, who used to harangue early flat-screen TV’s with quirky insults when Borussia Dortmund games got real (“Du alte Schlange!!!”). I can see him tossing Schabernack around.

There is at least one town called Schabernack, where the residents attribute the name to deforested hillsides in previous centuries, which looked for all the world like a neck with a 5 o’clock shadow. ⁴

Schabernack might be yanked from the dictionary dust: I’ve seen it used in literature of the past 20 years ⁵ and even on merchandise: I am absolutely ordering a Schabernack beanie in wolfhide gray from spreadshirt.de to celebrate my first post.